The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

But when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay guys desire to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' check it out thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship why not try these out based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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