The Intimacy Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and wellness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that numerous of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually look here compatible, lots of gay guys want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry official site is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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